Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
    1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower
    and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly
    under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0
    uninstalled many other "valuable" programs such as
    romance 9.9 and installed "undesirable" programs
    such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2, and NHL 4.1!
    Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
    simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging
    5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
    What can I do?

    Signed,
    Desperate


    Dear Desperate:
    First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package,
    while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.Try to enter the command
    C:ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then
    automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flower 7.5.
    But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such
    applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1
    Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program
    that will create Snoringloudly.WAV files.
    DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall
    another boyfriend program. These are unsupported
    programs and will crash Husband 1.0.
    It could also potentially cause Husband
    1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2 which runs in the background
    and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the
    operating system.

    In summary! Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
    does have limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly.
    You mightconsider buying additional software to enhance his system
    performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Homemade Chocolate Chip
    Cookies 4.5 combined with such applications as that old standby Lingerie 6.9.

    Good Luck,
    Tech Support